Resolving Conflicts and Identifying Issues

Key Insight

Issues and personal conflicts are inherent in any company; the key is to identify and resolve them. Two effective methods exist for issue identification. First, ask each person to imagine they are the CEO and identify up to three most important issues to solve in the next 90 days, which encourages ownership thinking. Second, during quarterly off-site meetings, team members document their thoughts about the company, categorizing them by joy, excitement, sadness, anger, and fear. For anger and fear, they detail the 'Fact' (observable actions), 'Story' (personal interpretations/judgments), and a 'Proposed Solution' (specific actions with DRIs and due dates). These anonymously compiled insights provide a clear roadmap for addressing company issues in subsequent leadership meetings.

Interpersonal conflict typically arises from unexpressed feelings and the perception of not being heard. A simple, yet powerful, resolution method involves repeating back what the other person has said in summary form using the phrase, 'I think I heard you say...', until they confirm with 'That's right!'. This act of active listening makes the individual feel heard and understood, opening them to reciprocate and listen to the other person's perspective, thus breaking the downward spiral of distrust and dislike. This technique is proven to stop repetitive explanations, as the speaker no longer feels the need to re-state their point once they are confident they've been truly understood.

For deep-seated conflicts, a structured, written resolution method, preferably led by a facilitator, is highly effective and efficient, taking about a third of the time of verbal discussions. Both parties write down their deepest work-related thoughts about the other person under categories of anger, fear, sadness, joy, and excitement. For negative emotions, they explicitly state the 'Feeling', 'Fact' (observable action), 'Story' (personal interpretation), and a 'Request' (specific action the other person can take). The facilitator ensures clear separation of fact from judgment and encourages full, even dramatic, expression of thoughts. After sharing positive thoughts, each party reads the other's negative thoughts, affirms a desire for a positive relationship, and co-creates a written action plan with DRIs and due dates. This process, culminating in a physical connection like a handshake or hug, builds mutual understanding and respect. Crucially, managers must not avoid mediating conflicts; if team members cannot resolve issues independently, the manager must intervene to decide or facilitate, or hire a coach, to prevent 'civil war' and ensure healthy organizational functioning.