Personal Trauma and Healing Journey

Key Insight

The individual experienced profound despair and isolation following the 2016 election, finding herself in a deep depression by November 9, 2016. This emotional distress was exacerbated by her social environment, as most friendships in her predominantly Republican town ended due to political differences, leaving her feeling increasingly isolated and self-conscious. The personal impact of this political shift manifested physically during an April 2017 White House visit for a family birthday, where she felt off-balance and out of control, developed a headache, and nearly fell, leading to a desperate search for Advil and the need for assistance to walk due to a broken shoe heel.

Recognizing the severity of her condition and the need for professional help, she eventually agreed to check into Cottonwood, a treatment center in Tucson, for several weeks of trauma therapy, initially for three weeks, then five. Her initial experience there was marked by disorientation, isolation, and intense rage, leading to intrusive thoughts and picturing her own corpse. However, after five days, a 'switch had been flipped,' and she began to engage with fellow patients and therapists, finding relief in the anonymity that allowed her to explore her issues without the burden of her family's identity or politics.

Through therapy, including EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing), she began to confront unacknowledged and unprocessed childhood traumas, realizing that her reaction to political events was a symptom of older, deeper wounds. This journey involved recognizing the cruelty of her self-talk and linking her self-loathing to feelings detached from traumatic childhood experiences, specifically what her mother had done to her. Despite a setback with a foot fracture upon returning home, which left her on crutches for four months, she recommitted to treatment, identifying six reasons for continued therapy, including being a healthy mother to her daughter, contributing more to the world, and achieving personal freedom and stability.